Somnambulistic Ramblings: Monday Is Funday

Monday 10 November 2008

Monday Is Funday

Another day, another dollar, or so the saying goes. If only it was just the dollars we had to worry about. It's the pounds, and the euros, and the yen, and the francs, and the florints, and the liras... ah, well, at least Trywalker is back at his desk.

Apparently, an infinite number of spot monkeys with an infinite number of Bloomberg terminals can tell you where EUR/USD will go (with the following conditions...)

10 comments:

Daddy Papersurfer said...: I wonder if I can get the sandwich concession ........?; 10 November 2008 at 06:37
Daddy Papersurfer said...: If anyone is watching - I don't think that terminal 5 is doing that well ....; 10 November 2008 at 06:38
Somnambulist said...: @DP - bacon & egg please.

Computer number 5 has not been working for 3 hours. After 47 calls to the support desk they have suggested rebooting.; 10 November 2008 at 07:01
Anonymous said...: There are many problems with the room layout shown here. Assuming it is the blueprint for our new room, I'll have to elaborate..

1) Not enough space for 12 screens each. It has become en vogue to have many more screens than one really needs or can watch, in an effort to look as important as the Blootoof headsetters. Indeed, I only got 4 of mine added in an attempt to uphold the appearance of being in charge, considering Trywalker added a new LAYER of screens to his desk (that can't possibly be useful for anything except perhaps multi-tabling at poker or other similarly dubious internet pastimes...)

2.No room for rage expression. It is well known that spot monkeys have to be allowed to smash the desk (as evidenced by the fist sized holes in TW's desk) or batter their dealing keypads (as evidenced by my "keys all flying out" tizz last month that resulted in TW giving up his dealpad and piecing mine back together whilst giggling (under his breath)). With such close proximity to each other there is a real danger of legal action being taken against the employer for all kinds of grievous injuries such as flying keyboard parts impaled in foreheads or necks, hearing problems due to noise of desk thumping etc. Either rubberised barriers need to be introduced between workstations (to throw people's rage back in their faces so to speak) or this is going to end in blood and tears....

3) No room for blootoofer walkbys. How is one meant to get a daily fix of self-embellishing bullshiza importance enhancement training if these knuckleheads are prevented from passing close by behind each desk?

4) (a new entry on the ideal dealing room design list...). No helicopter landing pads. For the unitiated, this sadly doesn't refer to landing spots for the big noisy windy choppers that some City types bought themselves in the late 80s. No, it seems that, considering how very well our MSIB is doing, and how the banking world overall is a safe haven of secure emploment and easy-pickings at the moment, one of our "trading" desks has taken to flying a small sqaudron of remote controlled helicopters around their end of the room. Since this pastime appears to be here to stay, we need room for their landing pads.

5) (related soled to number 4)Runway for spot desk Spitfires and F16s. The traditionalist in me says there is something poetic about my remote controlled Spitfire putting a few of their helicopters out of action, but surely a model F16 could lob a few mini thermobaric vacuum bombs down there at the same time and solve the helicopter issue at pilot level at the same time?

6) Bottom drawers clearly too small. Considering the amount of cr@p you're certainly hoarding ready to dump in my lap, these desks are much too small for me to file it properly...; 10 November 2008 at 07:56
Somnambulist said...: @UDH - I'll reply when I have stopped laughing.; 10 November 2008 at 10:43
Somnambulist said...: @UDH - What can I say... you are clearly wasted. I hear there may be an opening for a spot monkey blogger shortly. You should consider it ;-); 10 November 2008 at 16:55
70steen said...: why does 'I am not a number - I am a free man' spring to mind. I will never complain about my job again....; 10 November 2008 at 20:19
Somnambulist said...: @70s - You have a job? I'd always imagined you were a lady of sequin-encrusted leisure...; 11 November 2008 at 07:13
70steen said...: Gosh Somn you sounded just like DP for a minute then... he is amazed anyone will employ me lol

No I wish I was a lady of leeeeisure... however, I am currently looking for a multi millionaire so can you keep your eyes open for me; 11 November 2008 at 07:31
Somnambulist said...: @70s - I sounded like DP?! OK, I need to get away from here for a while...

I know a few individuals in your target market.. the only problem is finding one that is available :-); 11 November 2008 at 07:36