Dismembered is approximately how I feel this morning after two nights on orangepeel & Head Teach's pull-down spare sofa bed. I have now affectionally named this ferocious piece of furniture "The Lack", since it is clearly deliberately designed to encourage sleep deprivation.
Where most beds have rest-promoting, comfy padding, The Lack has two sharp-edged iron bars, meaning there are only two positions that one can possibly adopt for more than two minutes. One is a cramp-inducing ball in between the two bars, and the other is hanging half out of the 'bed' altogether.
I am not the first visitor to suggest a swift trip to Ikea would be in order, however, my dear hosts are more than happy with their spare dungeon. Apparently The Lack is very effective at discouraging imposing guests from outstaying their welcome. No sh+t...
21st Century Torture Device: "The Lack"
Medieval Torture Device: "The Rack"
8 comments:
Having read this now, I'll post 'it' to you immediately - no charge!
Can you get it here by tonight?!
Actually, following the post this morning, Head Teach (who still claims that The Lack is 'very comfortable') came to investigate. It did appear that orangepeel, after one too many light ales on Thursday evening, had not fully deployed The Lack to its extended position. This would explain why even when lying diagonally (over both iron bars) my feet still dangled over the hard-edged wooden corners. The bruises will fade in a day or two.
Now that it is 2 feet longer I will obviously have to give it another try this evening, although something tells me the bench in the back yard is probably a better bet...
p.s. It has just reminded me of a humourous(ish) moment with papersurfer when we were young lads. Having worked through the night on a project we were getting ready to get a few hours kip at around 6am. The exhausted papersurfer threw himself back onto our own version of The Lack, only to discover that the base at the top was solid wood. The 'crack' was audible in the next county and it's a minor miracle that his head stuffing did not cover the living room.
I wonder if there were any lasting effects....
well there's a spare bed here that you are welcome to if the need arises, and it's only slightly made out of breeze blocks.
Thanks Lazy, I will happily take you up on your offer of hard-bed hospitality. When I am next in Wyoming. :-)
Wasn't me. Nothing wrong with my head. No siree Bob. No way - I'm fine - totally fine - yup ..... sure am ....... *trip* *stumble* *crash*
Yup.. as I thought ;-)
Some movies to watch while sleepless;
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=43332170
Excellent! Thanks Alex, had a quick look... will take a closer look later :-)
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