Thursday 5 February 2009

Out Of The Icebox, Into The Freezer

Despite the vast majority of the UK grinding to a halt, we managed to make it back from cold, snowy Zermatt to cold, snowy Kent. Unfortunately, despite having all the gear on hand, the North Downs just don't really have the lift infrastructure to take advantage of the conditions. Maybe we should have stayed a little longer.

Privileged to be guests at one of the finest chalets in the Swiss alps, a fantastic long weekend was had by all. Well, almost all. Unfortunately, our delightful hostess with the mostest was struck down with a savage dose of the Irish lurgy and missed her own 40th birthday party. As disconsolate as we were that she couldn't make it, we tried to console ourselves with a bit of skiing and general wallowing about in luxury, being waited on hand and foot.

This left plenty of time on one's feet to ponder much that is deep and meaningful...

The most important accessory in cold weather is a good pair of ski socks. And the most important accessories on a good pair of ski socks are "unique dexter-sinister* identifiers." Having the letters 'R' and 'L' on each sock means that you usually put them on the correct foot (we'll ignore the fact that someone spent a day on the slopes sporting a fine pair of 'RIGHTS'), which means that you don't end up with funny shapes and folds in the wrong place, leading to excrutiating discomfort.

There is nothing you need more when skiing (and when standing around in bars after skiing) than an absence of unwanted wrinkles inside hard ski boots...

...except, perhaps, a bloody great mountain covered in snow.


A VERY big happy 13th birthday to Joshnambulist :-))

*before Lord Andrew of Goulding claims it, I have already reserved "Dexter Sinister" as the name for my thrash metal project.

Added bonus: a much better Matterhorn from the balcony yesterday morning...

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

At least it was better than skiing with two left feet!

.......I'm sure it was dark when I got dressed!!

Anonymous said...

weren't you celebrating someone else's birthday recently too?

Somnambulist said...

@sparlkyaph - ever wondered why it's easier to turn one way on skies than it is the other...?

@nursey - indeed. It's never-ending. The more people I get to know, the more celebrating I have to do. I've tried thinking up new and novel ways to celebrate, but always seem to revert to the tried and tested "get p+ssed."

Anonymous said...

It really is rather rare that I feel envious of someone else's lot in life - I tend to feel that with the right mindset and hard work I can achieve most of what I would want in life. I DO have a wonderful family with three kids that enlighten, challenge and reward me many times a day, and I purportedly run a global business for what used to be an investment bank.

That all said, I confess to being a little green gilled at the beautiful home your friend has created (I've seen some other apartment shots too, believe me folks it's awesome), with a truly stunning view! .
The fact that in your words she remains a grounded and loved friend despite achieving so much materially is equally impressive (in a day and age where so many people quickly become absolute morons when they make a lot of money).
Well done to her I say, despite my apartment envy, and I wish her a speedy recovery and many happy hours skiing outside her front door. She's no doubt earned it!

Lazy said...

I don't believe in the Matterhorn. I heard it was put up there by the Swiss Marketing board to promote chocolates.
It's only a model...

Daddy Papersurfer said...

Don't you get confused when you cross your legs though? or that thing goddesses do - wrapping one leg right around the other?

Somnambulist said...

@udh boy - nice sentiments... and don't worry, this time next year we'll be gazillionaires ;-)

@lazy - amazingly enough you are absolutely right - it is in fact a model. I even had some of the chalet staff move it around a bit until the sun was reflecting off it at just the right angle for the photo.

@DP - Nope. My dextral-sinistral distinguishment faculties are unaffected by leg-crossing. Goddesses can throw me off a bit though...

Daddy Papersurfer said...

Goddesses can cause chaos anywhere .......

Somnambulist said...

@DP - Let chaos reign...

Lynne Rees said...

There is nothing you need more when skiing ...

...than someone who doesn't shout at you when you keep falling over and cry on an icy slope :-) my hero :-)

...than the thought that there are people really, really suffering somewhere else in the world.

...than the belief that this will/can get better.

Somnambulist said...

@lynne - an inspired philosophy! (I don't remember any crying. Or falling over for that matter ;-))

Anonymous said...

@Lynne Rees - I loved your home-page. Stark, a trifle retro but still hip.

Re: Dexter Sinister

"Dexter Sinister" (actually "Sinister Dexter") was first heard by yours truly in a Carry On (Up The Romans?)movie trailer, circa 1968.

If I remember correctly, Roman soldiers were calling it out as they marched.

Somnambulist said...

@laog - hmmm I think Dexter Sinister having its roots in a carry on film might undermine the menace a little. I'll have a rethink...