Sometimes, The Black Hole's Inside Ya

Someone who I am proud to call a friend called me for some moral support. At work he feels the weight of the world on his shoulders, unappreciated and unrewarded, with little chance of things improving in the near future. He's a long way fom home and absorbs great pressure and responsibility for the welfare of his loved ones, while feeling remote from their day-to-day support. The harder he tries, the more he feels he is going nowhere.

Yet he is made of strong stuff, and he will persevere and continue on to great things in all aspects of his life, I have no doubt about that.

We all feel that oppressive doom and gloom now and again, when help from around you seems unavailing at best and the inner light is flickering and fading.

My personal antidote to this is a song called "Come Back Brighter" by Reef. I find a secluded spot, make sure that no-one is around (for their own benefit and safety), put the headphones on and then massacre the lyrics at the top of my voice...

Happy Birthday to Annambulist!!

Phriday Photo XXV

How's your New Year's new lose-weight-get-fit-routine coming on? Personally, I'm a touch behind target but I'm blaming it on the stress...

Step class. U.S. style.

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A Star Is Born

A hearty congratulations this morning to UDH Boy and his clan. Clearly he felt that he hasn't quite enough to fill his plate at the moment and went about adding a fresh son and heir to the team, who arrived on the scene yesterday.

Given UDH's background, and the fact that one of the lad's names is that of a famous popular culture messianic figure, UDH Jnr already carries a great weight of expectation. I can imagine that already, his new nursery is festooned with discarded large-button calculators, old EBS keypads and the odd handset. He should be ready for the EUR/YEN seat within about six months...

Fill Yer Boots

Yesterday Daddy Papersurfer wrote a post about boot sales, reminding me that against my better instincts, we may be forced to participate in one of these folorn events as an inevitable last resort, some time in the not too distant future.

Just recently, we offered to store a certain relative's belongings in the farm packing shed. We weren't prepared for the HGV that turned up with a truly staggering stockpile of chattelery, agglomerated over at least a quarter century. Some of the artefacts are quite extraordinarily bizarre. In fact, the kind of thing you will only ever find at a cold, muddy boot sale...

The underexercised hairy one views proceedings with bemused apprehension

Cannon Fodder

I'm still mapping out the collection of small, perfectly spherical contusions that are scattered across my aching body. I assume that they are randomly distributed, but for a moment, as I glanced in the full-length mirror this morning, I could swear that I looked like a negative print of the Ursa Major.

The most painful spot is the Seven Sisters constellation on the back of my neck and shoulder. I can still picture the crazed maniac standing above me as I lay prostrate in the mud behind a flimsy wooden barricade...an unbridled concoction of adrenalin and hormones emitting a bloodcurdling roar as he attempted to empty his magazine of small, frost-hardened paintballs at my head. Muzzle velocity: 202 mph. Adolescent ferocity: Off-the-scale.

Mini-somnambulist I, and some of his chums about to attain teenageship, decided they would have a paintball party: "no presents please, just bring money for ammo." It seems that regular frustrations, plus murderous instincts developed by killing each other online playing "Call Of Duty" on a daily basis, require an additional release channel, with Dads as slow-moving targets.

I can't think why I never suggested we play this with my old work colleagues...

Small but highly dangerous and unpredictable. On no account arm with paint grenades or smoke bombs.

Happy Birthday to Jeznambulist!

Phriday Photo XXIV

A lot of change goin' on around here this week. Wonder how long it'll take for them to get around to repainting this particular sign...

"Just take the next left past Oxymorons 'R' Us..."

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The Apple House

Apologies for the lack of posts in recent weeks. Despite being well ensconced in the 21st Century, it seems telecoms in deepest, darkest Kent still take a fair amount of arranging. We’ve finally got a phone but will be without internet connection for another week or so, and the expensive 3G “dongle” I bought is, when it permits a connection, slower than my first ever dial-up modem. Emails are just about tolerable (no large attachments please!), but web-browsing is less productive than watching glaciers melt.

Anyway, I have bravely ventured into the anarchic void that is Chatham, in order to hurriedly upload a couple of photos of the Apple House as we move in. Despite being surrounded by innumerable cardboard boxes, there is already a distinct vibe of enthusiasm and excitement swirling around what will be A Tiger In Africa’s main base. The space oozes calm and positive energy...

The Apple House - where Dennis will be brought to life in the coming weeks

Phriday Photo XXIII

There's a good chance that you are thinking about starting a diet this month. Don't forget to exercise too. And if necessary, get some bigger clothes in the January sales in the meantime...

Mission Impossible

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Happy New Year!

The Somnambulists wish all visitors the very best in 2009, the year of The Dennis! :-)