Somnambulistic Ramblings

Denn...

2009-10-22T11:30:00.000+01:00

I have so little time I can't even finish the subject title. Sincere, heartfelt, guilty, apologies to all the tasks that are being delayed by a few minutes, but I haven't posted here for some time, and the briefest of snapshots seems appropriate at this moment.

Our outstanding task-list on the Project Dennis alpha site has been gradually, methodically, unflaggingly whittled away to a paltry 50 items. Over the last couple of weeks, in the run-up to our full testing phase, the site has started to take on a much more dynamic, usable, 'lived-in' look and feel, and we are genuinely excited about inviting everyone on in less that three weeks.

It's been a long time (much longer than we had anticipated) coming, but the light is most definitely peering at us from the end of the tunnel. This is just as well, since my vow not to cut my hair until it's done and dusted has forced me to learn how to live with a pony tail. If only they could see me now. A good friend, who I'd not seen for some time, remarked that I look like an 'Italian porn star.' I suspect he didn't mean it as a compliment, but I'll take it as one nonetheless.

Onwards and onwards....

Dennis' Stablemate

2009-08-12T11:38:00.003+01:00

Phew!

Time has acquired previously undetected physical properties and is evaporating vigorously before my very eyes... either that or its being consumed by Dennis' voracious appetite for man hours.

9 months into development, Dennis trundles along gathering proportions like a fast food addict. In a snowball. Would we have started, had we realised the gargantuousness of the task at hand? Sure, but we might have sliced him up into more bit-sized pieces.

I am not going to tempt fate by suggesting we have a sniff of the finish line. Instead, I'll content myself with the fact that a remarkable amount has already been accomplished, and that it won't be long before a wider audience gets their first look... I hope they are not entirely underwhelmed.

You might think, quite sensibly, that with Dennis seeming marginally Sisyphean, one would be foolish to embark on any additional, major undertaking in parallel. But we like a challenge at A Tiger In Africa, and possibly for that reason alone, Dennis now has a sibling.

Project Norman (unfortunately I was out-voted and the epithet 'Spiny' was removed from the title) combines real-world game-play with online connectivity and collaboration. That's about all I can say at the moment, but details will be gradually released here...

Phriday Photo XLV

2009-06-26T06:00:00.001+01:00

A special Phriday today, so a special photo - it's Sparkly Aph's birthday and we're taking a day off from Dennis, and going to play some golf! CB-) )-=;

Sparkly Aphrodite in the nude

(it's only a model!)

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Phriday Photo XLIV

2009-06-19T19:21:00.002+01:00

OK, not a photo today (but who's checking?!)... but this made me laugh out loud when it arrived in my inbox this week (lol), and it definitely belongs on here :)

Toview previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Phriday Photo XLIII

2009-06-12T10:37:00.002+01:00

England's footballers seem unstoppable at the moment (let's not mention cricket at the moment, shall we?), with Wayne Rooney in a particularly strong vein of form. I suspect it's only a matter of time before opposing teams resort to questionable tactics to prevent him scoring goals...

Dangerous tackle...or tackle in danger?

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

To The Manor Prawn

2009-06-09T08:28:00.003+01:00

Sparkly Aph's Food For Thought goes from strength to strength, but needed a re-branding following our return to Blighty... and so "To The Manor Prawn" is (errr) born :-)

So, for all your catering needs (especially parties, weddings, entertaining), can I direct you to:

To The Manor Prawn

This is Lord P, he's a bit of a prawn and a bit of a toff
(but not a toffee prawn, that would be gross)

Phriday Photo XLII

2009-06-05T08:32:00.003+01:00

Thanks for messages about the under-exercsied-hariy-one last week...

Muttley is on the mend :-)

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Project Dennis Update

2009-05-30T09:55:00.004+01:00

Just a short post while I have a moment, but necessary to mark an important milestone.

Today, 'slightly' behind schedule we were able to send out our first invitations to our Alpha Testing community to come and visit the Dennis test site. An eclectic mix of metaphoric wise men, inn-keepers and shepherds they get the first entry into the rickety stable and peer at the new-born baby Dennis.

Whether or not Dennis turns out to be the leader of a new cult that engulfs half the world or just another very naughty boy remains to be seen, but at the moment we're just delighted that he's here at all...

Nativity Starter Set $99.99 available from General Foam Plastics Corp Indoor or Outdoor use (only one bulb included)

Phriday Photo XLI

2009-05-29T07:21:00.003+01:00

I came across this picture in my travels and found it unnerving enough to post today. It's not that I have anything against people praying to walls, etc. - whatever brings you inner peace is alright by me. It was just that this chap doesn't appear to be praying at all. He appears to be looking. Which got me thinking...what can he see through the little crack...?

I spy with my little eye...

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Free Lunches

2009-05-23T07:37:00.004+01:00

Yesterday I missed the first Phriday Photo post since starting the blog last year. This lapse in personal discipline was due to being up most of Thursday night with a seriously sick doggy (including a couple of the darkest hours spent expensively at the not-so-local vets), followed by a very busy day with Dennis on Friday. The underexercised hairy one will be fine, although he's moping about a bit under the influence of various drugs.

Mitigating circumstances aside, I feel that I owe a debt of service to this slightly neglected blog, especially since it was never supposed to be just another place to post mostly regurgitated, mildly amusing pictures. So today I'm sharing a few useful snippets of info, should any aspiring entrepreneurs wander by...

They say there's no such thing as a 'free lunch', and they're probably right. Even when you don't pay for something up front, if you follow the cost trail far enough you'll find somehow or other you're footing the bill. Nevertheless, I've come across some genuine nuggets of advice and information for start-up businesses, readily available for little more than a small collection of internet-access, time, travel and taxpayer expenses.

Free Business Advice on the Internet

Until someone comes along with a website that organises information effectively so that you can quickly determine which are the best places that offer free advice (we're working on it), you're left with the Google keyword-a-thon lottery. Let me save you some time. This is one of the most succinct sources of info for first-time would-be Richard Bransons: Angel Blog. And, for free, the best part of the site is the Start-up To Do List.

Fancy yourself weilding business cards with CEO next to your name, but secretly don't really know what the role actually entails in its entirety? Free Management Library: Basic overview of the role of the Chief Executive.

Beginner (very) basics: if you've got an idea for a website but aren't sure what's entailed in setting it up and monetising options, try the Webpage Blueprint.

Already know where you're going, and want to listen to educated views on new media revenue models? Bookmark The Monday Note.

What's "competitor analysis" about? Here are a couple of pointers: NetMBA & Tutor2U.

In that vein, want to know what kind of traffic and stats your competitors are seeing? Alexa and Compete offer good free entry-level services. (Of course for your own stats you will have installed the excellent, cost-free Google Analytics).

Government Sources

Start at Business Link and you won't go far wrong. There's good overview information there, and you can arrange free consultations and advice with your local Business Link centre.

The Intellectual Property Office will assist you with protecting your ideas, and they arrange a free, confidential consultation with a qualified patent attorney, in conjuction with the CIPA, to consider if your ideas may be worth pursuing a patent application - expensive but probably worth the investment if successful. Member firms of CIPA will also invariably grant you a free initial consultation.

The British Library has a superb free resource in its Business & IP Centre. We arranged a free 90-minute business analysis and advice session, with a basic action plan and follow up meetings down the road to see how we are getting on.

...A spin off of all these free meetings is that they are superb practice for conveying your business idea in confidence, which I guarantee will help build, err, confidence.

I think I'll leave the funding side of things for another post, because we might start drifting off the 'free lunch' vein. However, check out the individual tax breaks on startup investments under the Enterprise Investment Scheme. Additionally, since the British public now own vast swathes of the banking sector, which has been very naughty, it is being 'encouraged' to lend money to the small and medium business sector that represents the only real prospect of dragging the economy up by its bootstraps. The Enterprise Finance Guarantee provides majority government underwriting (lending banks take the minority risk) to SME loans of £1k-£1m over a period of up to 10 years, at pretty attractive interest rates. I understand that certain banks have a quota to fulfill in such loans, and I fully intend to help them meet it.

And finally, if you're thinking about buying a business instead of starting one from scratch (and believe me, you should be: my bank is offering to provide EFG assistance to do so), then I can highly recommend the Diomo course. OK, its style is a touch "U.S. Self-help hype" and at £50 is not free. However, its information is invaluable, and in relative terms (i.e. 1/3 the cost of a middle-of-the-night trip to the emergency vets) it's a veritable bargain.

There. I hope I've added a tiny bit back to the blogosphere and feel at least partially absolved for my indiscipline. It'll be back to the silly photos next week.

If all of the above was simply mind-numbingly dull, click here to see previous Phriday Photos while you wait...

Phriday Photo XL

2009-05-15T06:00:00.001+01:00

It's tough out there, and while we wait for Dennis to get going everyone has to pull their weight. And that includes the under-exercised hairy one: he's going out to stud. We've therefore put together a promotional puppy pimping photo package for prospective readers of the horseandhound.co.uk and the like...

To rent: The Dog's b......

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Phriday Photo XXXIX

2009-05-08T06:00:00.000+01:00

With what seems like barely a free minute to spare at the moment, this pic brought a wry smile... :-)

Have a productive Friday. Or not.

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Phriday Photo XXXVIII

2009-05-01T06:00:00.000+01:00

I've been known to pick up a pencil or a paintbrush on occasion, and not always with disastrous results. However, I have always been in awe of pavement artists - out in the elements with the most unforgiving of canvasses, usually drawing on a huge scale, and at the end of it only pennies and a photo to show for it. Respect.

Leonardos in another life...

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Brimming With Pride

2009-04-27T17:12:00.003+01:00

Pride invariably does come before the fall, so I do try to curtail that particular emotional mental state most of the time. Today, however, a little self-indulgence... Yesterday, on one of the most important events on the Somnambulist calendar - the Rugby Club end-of-season Awards - the mini-Somnambulists excelled themselves.

Not only did no.2 son win the U11 'Player of the Year' award (accompanied by rave accolades from coaches), but also no.1 brought home the highly coveted 'McNamara Trophy,' - awarded in memory of a young club member who passed away, to the U13 player displaying the most dedication, commitment and heart throughout the season...

mini-Somnambulist hero II & mini-Somnambulist hero I

Phriday Photo XXXVII

2009-04-24T06:00:00.002+01:00

Spring has sprung and the eagerly awaited blossom is adorning the trees at the Applehouse. Dennis is a little late arriving, but that's fine, we'll wait in the shade with a picnic and a glass of cider.... What budget? What was it that I used to do for a living? A lifetime ago...

Spring sun in the Kent countryside :-)

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Phriday Photo XXXVI

2009-04-17T06:00:00.003+01:00

It was a great pleasure to see my Antipodean mucker, VB, over the bank holiday weekend. Not only did we get the chance to sink a couple of Spitfires, he even came bearing gifts - including a most excellent T-Shirt from that gentleman and scholar, Trywalker....

FX Traders' survival wear...

(pic above now viewable - thanks for the heads-up, Jay!)

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Phriday Photo XXXV

2009-04-10T06:00:00.001+01:00

It's Phriday. Jolly Good. The barbarian hordes are descending for the long weekend, meaning a marathon visit to the superdupermarket is unavoidable. An appropriate time, I think, to wheel out some of my favourite consumer products from around the world.

The Somnambulist's shopping basket...

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Ramblers' Rest

2009-04-06T18:41:00.002+01:00

Not, as you might expect, a blogging hiatus (UDH Boy will have already ascertained this from the specific location of the apostrophe). Instead, a minor addition to the income stream (more of a trickle really), in the form of first class, top-notch, super-value guest accomodation.

If you happen to know anyone travelling through the Kent area in need of a stupendously good night's sleep followed by a full-on, full monty breakfast, please direct them here...

(Regular readers of S.R. eligible for a generous discount... for Daddy Papersurfer, we even have an extremely large shed full of antiquey, farmy things)

Dennis Update IV

2009-04-04T13:08:00.005+01:00

Despite the delays mentioned a few days ago, we passed a small but significant milestone this week: the first implemented code module. It was nothing more (and perhaps nothing less) than the registration-email-log-in component, but it's there and it works.

It prompted quite an extraordinary moment of realisation. After years of evolving the concept, months of analysis, design and preparation, and the consumption of a large wad of cash, seeing the Project Dennis team email arrive in the inbox, inviting one to log into the demo site, was like the first twitch of life in Frankenstein's monster's little finger.

They don't make 'em like they used to...

Phriday Photo XXXIV

2009-04-03T07:29:00.003+01:00

There used to be a time when going to an art gallery meant looking at pictures. Nowadays it can be like stepping inside Salvador Dali's cortex...

Installation art or PD developer on his lunch break?

Alas, poor Dennis...

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Dennis Update III

2009-04-02T09:21:00.002+01:00

The frequency of posts here is inversely proportional to the Dennis workload... Since the last update, work on the preview of the Project Dennis alpha site has been completed and we have moved into the implementation phase, where the business rules layer is coded to integrate the database and GUI layers. This is done in a series of so-called 'sprints', where a number of related sections are developed as a group and then tested, while the next sprint is worked on.

Time has slipped away from us somewhat, and we are now looking at a probable alpha go-live at the end of April. Frustrating as this is, we believe that the hard development work being done now will save us much more time down the road.

In addition I have also been working on a top secret new blog "Dennis Lore," which will help our community of alpha testers learn more about the project and also seed the Help & FAQs section of the site. Back to work...!

Phriday Photo XXXIII

2009-03-27T07:25:00.004Z

A change of tack this week. Less humour, more sentiment.

I caught this touching moment of an old fella sharing his ice cream with his faithful friend in a park in Harrogate. There was something very sincere and endearing about their interaction. I wondered if either of them were reminiscing about days of youth, or lost partners perhaps...

Fido always saves the chocolate flake till the end

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Downsizing

2009-03-25T06:00:00.000Z

We said a sad farewell to the Somnambulistic Mothership last week. It had served us well, happily transporting us around Europe, up snowy Alp, along endless autobahn and down winding Cornish country lane on many occasions. But.. there's a credit crunch, the steering wheel was on the wrong side, and most importantly, people thought we were German.

So we've put the record straight on that by downsizing to something old and British. Not, unfortunately, a Supermarine Spitfire but a Land Rover Freelander. It makes funny noises, drinks engine coolant like a Glaswegian nightclub owner, shudders between 19 and 26 mph, and won't stop the sneers from the ecomentalcyclists. However, it should put a stop to people giving us straight-arm salutes with their fingers under their noses.

From mothership to lifeboat (only slower)

Phriday Photo XXXII

2009-03-20T06:00:00.000Z

Some things are destined for the bonfire the moment they were conceived, and so it was with a certain item of furniture (plus a small collection of unwanted flotsam). Just before I dropped the match I noticed that the "Fire Resistant" label had still not been removed and decided to put this claim to the test and record the results. The following photo montage spans no more than four minutes and speaks for itself...

The hot seat.

To view previous Phriday Photos, click here!

Artificial Albert

2009-03-18T06:00:00.001Z

You've probably seen countless clips of robotic faces. They've got better over the years but to my mind have never quite shaken off that disappointing Disney World animatronics-style tackiness. Until I saw the clip on the link below.

At first it's just another unconvincing (if high-quality) rubber-faced bag of servos. But keep watching... something changes when Mr E is given a robot body that moves freely and independently. Perhaps it is because when there is more motion to occupy one's focus, the facial scrutiny is less intense and we look more at the whole.. err entity? Whatever, the effect for me is eerie and I couldn't suppress the notion that I was taking a glimpse into the future.

Click AE for the shape of physicists to come...