Shamelessly going off topic, I immediately remembered this speech by Dr. Evil, spoken to a psychotherapy group, while "opening up":
Dr Evil: Very well, where do I begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie-owner from Belgium with low-grade Narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.
Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets.
When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really.
At the age of 12 I received my first scribe.
At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it."
Re" Mike Myers. He's frequently seen as a clown but...
"My father...would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark."
...is, for me, British-like comedy of the highest order and...
"Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament."
...while also surreal, still possesses a musicality that many quality lyricists would be envious of. In fact, it's so good I've always wonder whether Mr. Myers lifted it!
9 comments:
I always thought the story that kiltsmen cheated and wore undies was a load of boll+++s
Is he going to use the lager can to pee in I wonder?
why are my hands forming the cupping position?
Shamelessly going off topic, I immediately remembered this speech by Dr. Evil, spoken to a psychotherapy group, while "opening up":
Dr Evil: Very well, where do I begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie-owner from Belgium with low-grade Narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark.
Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets.
When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really.
At the age of 12 I received my first scribe.
At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it."
@udh boy - glad to have cleared up that nutty mystery for you, old chap.
@DP - would you be able to tell the difference?
@nursey - I think Pavlov called that a reflex action ;-)
@laog - that had me in stitches hahah thanks! :-))
Re" Mike Myers. He's frequently seen as a clown but...
"My father...would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark."
...is, for me, British-like comedy of the highest order and...
"Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament."
...while also surreal, still possesses a musicality that many quality lyricists would be envious of. In fact, it's so good I've always wonder whether Mr. Myers lifted it!
@laog - I've been a fan of Mike Myers since Wayne's World.. it's the sharp wit, as you highlight, hiding under the irreverent farce :-)
Hahahaha!!! Mind if I pass that one along to a friend of mine? I know she'll appreciate it!
Mike Myers? Meh. I prefer my humour a little more subtle.
Nah. I prefer my humour a LOT more subtle.
Each to his own. I hate Woody Allen too, so what do I know?
@Jay - pass along at will (especially to Scots!) :-) Can't say I'm keen on Woody Allen either, so I'm sure we have some common ground!
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